The worst part is I've been avoiding me. I haven't written here (really written) in AGES and it's been just as many months since I've written (really written) in my own journal. I don't know if it's that I feel like I don't have anything to say or that I just don't know how to say it. That's a lie. I do know. I think it's both.
So many of the thoughts in my head have been blasting themselves megaphone loud that in an effort to keep my head from exploding I've done a pretty good job of silencing them out. The trouble with this is that they still remain there. They've become this dream-like phenomenon as though I'm watching the telly on mute. I can still see the lips of these thoughts moving as though they're trying to tell me something but I'm deaf to what that might be.
Slowly but surely I'm figuring it out again. I've learned over time that there's a delicate balance to how much I post here versus how much I write in my journal. Not just because there are some thoughts that are just too fragile to post all over the Internet, but also that if I write it here (or there) there's only a 50% chance that I'll transpose the same thoughts into the other. It's a frustrating balance because I have such a freedom with my paper journal but also really want/need to just talk to someone about what's going on inside my head. I've had this blog since 2005, but I've had a serious journal since I was 12. Both are extremely hard to walk away from... So I just can't. I have to try to juggle both!
Anyway, that's a thing that's happening.
I've been pretty consistent about writing poetry this past week. I had a dark day (hadn't since written June) but I think I might be back on track again. If you'd like to follow along please do: http://takeastrollwithme.wordpress.com
Talk soon.
xoxo m
26 December, 2011
16 August, 2011
Oh my, life happens quickly!
All of the things. SO MANY THINGS!
By now, you know me and in knowing me, you understand how my head works (at least to some extent) and that extent probably includes the fact that I am constantly wanting to do/doing 1 bajillion things at a time!
In the past few months I've talked about:
the book I'm working on
the poetry I'm collecting into a book of my works
the business I'm starting
the website I've been procrastinating on
the EP I'm writing/producing
the apartment/life I'm trying to clean and make
being married
YouTube
Well, I'm closer on a few of those things.
I now have a 100% legit business AND website! So I am busy rounding up cliental left and right. (Book me before your mom does!)
I've gotten a little better about posting on my YouTube channel, but not a lot, I cannot tell a lie. In fact, when I go home today I am going to be making not one but TWO videos. (Or at least one..) So watch for that.
We have a grown-up couch and our living room is now much more moved-in. I feel SO great about this. I even have a shelf with a PLANT on it. Talk about grown-up, right?
But seriously, in the grand scheme of things these few things feel like such big accomplishments and then on paper they become so trivial. I've only made some progress on my books/EP, which, in comparison to the need to get my business up and rolling I suppose is understandable, but still.
I suppose I just felt the need to do a little post. I tried to have my videos/blogs scheduled at one point a couple months back - it didn't work. If anything it just made me annoyed because the reminders always popped up on my phone while I was at work and couldn't do anything about it anyway. I mean, I'm at work now, but it was different then. It was a different world! (Only not really.)
I've just begun a new diet. It is 5-6 small meals (ie. bagel w/cream cheese, yogurt w/fresh fruit and granola, cup of oatmeal for breakfast; tuna w/celery, caesar salad w/little dressing and maybe some nuts for protein for lunch; fish & veggies for dinner; nuts, fruit, yogurt, string cheese for snacks throughout the day) every 3-4 hours and then I will run for a minimum of 20 minutes every day when I get home from work. I drink water on the in between and hope this will help me feel more full longer and also help me get to a more balanced size. Weight isn't really my issue, I've just been so laxidazical about my eating habits that I've just not been healthy or fit. Stay tune for more info! I may post "progress" videos/photos on how I'm doing/toning/looking... but I don't want to make people uncomfortable and probably only will if people want to see such things. (And when I say "just" started it I mean just. As in today. So I don't have a lot of progress yet to track!)
Well, back to work I go.
xoxo Mallory
By now, you know me and in knowing me, you understand how my head works (at least to some extent) and that extent probably includes the fact that I am constantly wanting to do/doing 1 bajillion things at a time!
In the past few months I've talked about:
the book I'm working on
the poetry I'm collecting into a book of my works
the business I'm starting
the website I've been procrastinating on
the EP I'm writing/producing
the apartment/life I'm trying to clean and make
being married
YouTube
Well, I'm closer on a few of those things.
I now have a 100% legit business AND website! So I am busy rounding up cliental left and right. (Book me before your mom does!)
I've gotten a little better about posting on my YouTube channel, but not a lot, I cannot tell a lie. In fact, when I go home today I am going to be making not one but TWO videos. (Or at least one..) So watch for that.
We have a grown-up couch and our living room is now much more moved-in. I feel SO great about this. I even have a shelf with a PLANT on it. Talk about grown-up, right?
But seriously, in the grand scheme of things these few things feel like such big accomplishments and then on paper they become so trivial. I've only made some progress on my books/EP, which, in comparison to the need to get my business up and rolling I suppose is understandable, but still.
I suppose I just felt the need to do a little post. I tried to have my videos/blogs scheduled at one point a couple months back - it didn't work. If anything it just made me annoyed because the reminders always popped up on my phone while I was at work and couldn't do anything about it anyway. I mean, I'm at work now, but it was different then. It was a different world! (Only not really.)
I've just begun a new diet. It is 5-6 small meals (ie. bagel w/cream cheese, yogurt w/fresh fruit and granola, cup of oatmeal for breakfast; tuna w/celery, caesar salad w/little dressing and maybe some nuts for protein for lunch; fish & veggies for dinner; nuts, fruit, yogurt, string cheese for snacks throughout the day) every 3-4 hours and then I will run for a minimum of 20 minutes every day when I get home from work. I drink water on the in between and hope this will help me feel more full longer and also help me get to a more balanced size. Weight isn't really my issue, I've just been so laxidazical about my eating habits that I've just not been healthy or fit. Stay tune for more info! I may post "progress" videos/photos on how I'm doing/toning/looking... but I don't want to make people uncomfortable and probably only will if people want to see such things. (And when I say "just" started it I mean just. As in today. So I don't have a lot of progress yet to track!)
Well, back to work I go.
xoxo Mallory
21 June, 2011
21.06.2011_young sailors
blow in, bright breeze from shores afar
and tell of where the young sailors are
for whence they went they have not come
and rough, the sea is mute and dumb
the stars dip down and touch the waves
and echo their reflection, grave
in their faces does reflect
this new, new world and it's defect
when morning dawns and breaks the day
the caves have nothing more to say
for our good luck of treasured gold
the men before have sold their souls
and tell of where the young sailors are
for whence they went they have not come
and rough, the sea is mute and dumb
the stars dip down and touch the waves
and echo their reflection, grave
in their faces does reflect
this new, new world and it's defect
when morning dawns and breaks the day
the caves have nothing more to say
for our good luck of treasured gold
the men before have sold their souls
07 May, 2011
Redesigning and potty training
Today I was reading a blog entry over at The Art of Doing Stuff about how 2 years ago she got so sick of the way her house was/looked/felt that she just sold/got rid of literally everything, painted the whole house white, and started over. To me, that sounds like a dream.
I have moments where I just can't stand to think about coming home to the state of my apartment. I feel anger welling up when I look at magazines while I'm waiting to check out in the grocery store, and I can't tell you how many times I've told D that I just want to start over and do just that: get rid of ALL our crap. (More than 10 times, I can assure you.)
I really enjoy reading blogs. Home design/DIY/inspiration blogs are among my favourite, which makes it really frustrating when all I can do when I look at how other people have their homes/apartments all cute and decorated is think about how much I'd like mine to look even remotely like theirs. I guess you could call it some pathetic form of jealousy, really!
So I'm sucking it up and am going to honest-to-God do something about it. I spent a good amount of time on a couple "look books" of sorts for each room in my apartment/future house. (Basically a mash-up of all the millions of photos I've been saving, filing and drooling over for as long as I can remember. It's important to have folders of inspirational photos like this.) And I've decided that whatever time it takes and however much money it takes I am going to find a way to love the place I'm in. This will require much penny-pinching, DIY and patience, but I am prepared to get my butt in gear or go crazy trying!
These are some of the basic room concepts I've pulled together and will be working off of:
Bathroom: I love the idea of a dark/black bathroom with some soft hints of colour/gold. The colour would come from frames, the shower curtains and having lots of plants in/under glass jars throughout.
Bedroom: I LOVE white. I don't think I can stress this enough. White is such a clean and fresh colour. Now that Sage is older I can refresh my quest for my all-white bedroom with hints of light, light blue. The curtains will be white (letting in loads of light but still allowing for privacy), I love the ornate shelving (photo courtesy of Nesting Place) for little trinkets/decor. That blue strip along the bottom is close to what I envision for the colour pops in the room - this color will be going up across our closet doors as a curtain instead of the wooden doors that are there now while we are still renting. I can't wait to have full access to my wardrobe!
Kitchen: Clean, organized and white/black/red is the colour palette. I want everything to have a place. The idea of having a wall/door painted with chalkboard paint for notes/reminders/shopping lists is so fun!
Laundry room: Those two photos sum-up my perfect laundry room. I am in. love.
Living room: Have I mentioned I love the colour white? I think that wall to floor bookshelf is a-ma-zing! (photo courtesy of The Art of Doing Stuff). I need a large, gold print of that poster. (I have a blue one in the office right now.) And that print in the top left corner would be the curtain pattern/colour.
I didn't really include any photos of office stuff because I'm actually pretty happy with how our current office looks. The only thing that needs to be addressed is some organization in the closet and I need to paint my filing cabinets black so they fit in with the rest of the decor. I also have a really cool print of a world map that I got Demitri for Christmas that needs to go up on the wall somewhere. I'll do a whole office post some other time.
In other news, today I placed an order for CitiKitty, a potty training kit for cats. I'm sure I could have figured out some way to potty train Sage on my own, but this just seemed too easy and hassle free to pass up!
I've never really been one to order anything "As Seen on TV!" because, let's face it, those kinds of products are usually only seen that way on TV. But no, I did some diligent research (a Google search for "how to potty train your cat") and watched some very convincing YouTube videos with real people using this product to potty train their cats!
I'm convinced this will be a great thing both for Demitri and I as well as little Sage. Not only will I no longer have to spend time sweeping up the yucky cat litter that gets everywhere, but just think of how much money we'll be saving on cat litter! Cat litter is about $13 a month which equates to about $156 a year. If Sage lives the average kitty lifetime of 20 years that's $3,120 on cat litter alone!
With this kit, soon Sage will be on her way to being the most popular cat in our whole complex, Demitri will be happy because there will be no more kitty stink (though I pride myself on the fact that her box is always clean), I will no longer have to clean a yucky kitty box, and we will be saving a bajillion dollars a year!
My kit should be arriving in 7-10 days, I'll keep you posted on how it all goes. Excitement!
xoxo, m
I have moments where I just can't stand to think about coming home to the state of my apartment. I feel anger welling up when I look at magazines while I'm waiting to check out in the grocery store, and I can't tell you how many times I've told D that I just want to start over and do just that: get rid of ALL our crap. (More than 10 times, I can assure you.)
I really enjoy reading blogs. Home design/DIY/inspiration blogs are among my favourite, which makes it really frustrating when all I can do when I look at how other people have their homes/apartments all cute and decorated is think about how much I'd like mine to look even remotely like theirs. I guess you could call it some pathetic form of jealousy, really!
So I'm sucking it up and am going to honest-to-God do something about it. I spent a good amount of time on a couple "look books" of sorts for each room in my apartment/future house. (Basically a mash-up of all the millions of photos I've been saving, filing and drooling over for as long as I can remember. It's important to have folders of inspirational photos like this.) And I've decided that whatever time it takes and however much money it takes I am going to find a way to love the place I'm in. This will require much penny-pinching, DIY and patience, but I am prepared to get my butt in gear or go crazy trying!
These are some of the basic room concepts I've pulled together and will be working off of:
 |
| (click to enlarge) |
Bathroom: I love the idea of a dark/black bathroom with some soft hints of colour/gold. The colour would come from frames, the shower curtains and having lots of plants in/under glass jars throughout.
Bedroom: I LOVE white. I don't think I can stress this enough. White is such a clean and fresh colour. Now that Sage is older I can refresh my quest for my all-white bedroom with hints of light, light blue. The curtains will be white (letting in loads of light but still allowing for privacy), I love the ornate shelving (photo courtesy of Nesting Place) for little trinkets/decor. That blue strip along the bottom is close to what I envision for the colour pops in the room - this color will be going up across our closet doors as a curtain instead of the wooden doors that are there now while we are still renting. I can't wait to have full access to my wardrobe!
Kitchen: Clean, organized and white/black/red is the colour palette. I want everything to have a place. The idea of having a wall/door painted with chalkboard paint for notes/reminders/shopping lists is so fun!
Laundry room: Those two photos sum-up my perfect laundry room. I am in. love.
Living room: Have I mentioned I love the colour white? I think that wall to floor bookshelf is a-ma-zing! (photo courtesy of The Art of Doing Stuff). I need a large, gold print of that poster. (I have a blue one in the office right now.) And that print in the top left corner would be the curtain pattern/colour.
I didn't really include any photos of office stuff because I'm actually pretty happy with how our current office looks. The only thing that needs to be addressed is some organization in the closet and I need to paint my filing cabinets black so they fit in with the rest of the decor. I also have a really cool print of a world map that I got Demitri for Christmas that needs to go up on the wall somewhere. I'll do a whole office post some other time.
In other news, today I placed an order for CitiKitty, a potty training kit for cats. I'm sure I could have figured out some way to potty train Sage on my own, but this just seemed too easy and hassle free to pass up!
I'm convinced this will be a great thing both for Demitri and I as well as little Sage. Not only will I no longer have to spend time sweeping up the yucky cat litter that gets everywhere, but just think of how much money we'll be saving on cat litter! Cat litter is about $13 a month which equates to about $156 a year. If Sage lives the average kitty lifetime of 20 years that's $3,120 on cat litter alone!
With this kit, soon Sage will be on her way to being the most popular cat in our whole complex, Demitri will be happy because there will be no more kitty stink (though I pride myself on the fact that her box is always clean), I will no longer have to clean a yucky kitty box, and we will be saving a bajillion dollars a year!
My kit should be arriving in 7-10 days, I'll keep you posted on how it all goes. Excitement!
xoxo, m
27 April, 2011
San Tantonio
Right now we are flying high... well... somewhere near Dallas, TX. Pretty soon here we'll be landing and then getting on another plane to take us the last little leg to our final destination of San Antonio.
I have a nail polish colour from OPI called "San Tantonio" (a really nice tan colour, if you'd believe it.) And I've been dreadfully close to slipping up and referring to the city as such. Apologies in advance.
I'm not gonna lie, I totally feel like one of those cool "airplane" bloggers. You know, the ones who are always traveling and blogging while in the air and then publishing in whatever airport they happen to nag wifi in? Yeah, I am so cool.
Anyway, the reason for our trip is my brother-in-law Alexis. He is graduating from basic training for the Air Force tomorrow. He's cool. I'm proud.
We're gonna get to spend some time with him, visit the Alamo and take the river walk. I can't wait to take and post pictures.
Lately when I go out with my camera I either have an agenda to follow set by the circumstances or I've been way too serious about it and set one for myself. It's been a while since I've had a camera in my hand and just started shooting. It's gonna be fun.
There's a whole group of robotics kids on board our flight. About 25 of them or so. I heard one of their group leaders laughing because someone made the comment that "at least if we crashed we'd have some people who knew how to fix stuff!" Kinda funny, dontcha think? The best part about it, I think, is that the majority of this group is girls. Way to be, girls, way to be.
My question of the day is: have any of you ever ordered something from SkyMall? I look at it every time I'm on a plane and it makes me laugh every time. I've always wanted to order something from it just to say I have, but I just never have. If you have, what was it you bought?
xoxo
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