19 July, 2007

random snippits of the past, then comes the now

I was looking through my hard drive the other day, going through old files and what-not, you know the drill, when I stumbled across some old things I had written. I'd love to share them with you, I really wish I wrote like this more often. Uhm, these are August 14, 2006.

"all the memories, all the dreams gently tucked away in an old fashioned hat box. it lies in the attic, collecting dust as i stand in a field. all around me, daises, hundreds of thousands of daises. there is a gate, i can see the knob. it's like my own little secret garden. as i walk up to it the unconscious thought at the back of my mind yells, "you don't have the key!" it's true, i don’t'. a rose bush is crawling its way across the door, but the lock remains un-touched. rusted with the years gone by. i've finally found my dream, it's telling me i have to find the key, but how am i supposed to do that? i don't even know where to begin! there are no clues, no hints, the last the last thing written on the aging paper is, "keep looking, when the time is right, you'll find it . . ." as i press my hand up against the wood and peel through the keyhole one thought runs through my mind, "so close and yet so far." i'm touching the door and looking on my dream yet there is a wall. i can't climb it, i haven't tired, there's a little mocking bird repeating what she's heard from someone, to me, "you can't go in yet . . . you can't climb it . . . just wait . . . not yet . . . just wait." she cooed in her melancholy voice. i don't even have to hear her words to know, somehow just know, it's impossible to climb. so close and yet so far . . ."

Those are the past, now on to the now? These were yesterday:
"it's just in my mind, I'm sure of it.
how didn't I notice when that star fell?
it gave it's life in place of my wish.
was that right?

maybe I'll never know,
what I do know is that the star is gone, and so are you.

oh, but what a beautiful fall you had.
I was falling with you.
what a bittersweet moment in time.

the moment I knew you would never be mine."

"Remember the time,
that you and I were sitting there, talking into forever?
the moments seemed so slow, I liked it that way.
everything was different the next time you looked at me,
we share a secret in that smile.

I'm glad things happen the way they do,
I'd never take a single word back.
Things keep moving forward, they change.
I'm okay with that, just stay with me somehow.
Doesn't matter how.

Tomorrow is part of forever too.
I'm not asking for a promise,
of forever and always.
We'll deal with that as it comes,


Anyway, I just thought I'd share those with you. Whoever "you" may be . . . maybe they'll make you smile, or think, I hope they make you feel something. =]

I went lazer tagging tonight, my alias was "Chief" (I found it fitting ;]) anyway, I was number 12 the first time and 14 the second. =P Gag, I really should practice more! Ha!

Peace + LOVE

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