11 June, 2009

goals and such the like

i have decided by the time i am twenty-three (at the latest) i am going to have enough saved up for a down payment on a nice, small house. i've factored $13-$15,000 into my budget and in order to reach that goal while still maintaining my monthly bills and lack of debt i'll need to put aside about $180 dollars a month for the next 3.5 years. i am determined and i know i can do it. this means no more spending on anything at all from now until then other than regular monthly expenses and maybe the occasional movie attendance here and there. (i have factored a "fun money" jar into my life for this very occasional, necessary splurge.)

i feel bad for wanting to move out as much as i do, and it's not that i'm trying to get out to get away from my family – i'm not. it's just that i've outgrown my current living quarters. i have room and need stretching/growing room. i spend most of my time away from the house, these days, and when i am home (now that it's summer) i've been outside more and more which only proves to me that i'm crowded inside and need to get out, out, out. or something.

it is fifteen days away from the gathering and mine and kimmi's escape to oregon. i am more excited than i know how to express.

summer/end-of-year goals:
- book of poetry
- photography business
- go to a drive-in movie
- OREGON
- drink 1 water bottle and 3 cups of water daily
- exercise 25 minutes minimum every other day
(to be updated as i see fit.)

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in other news, i spent a wonderful day with my dear friend Elise and her beautiful children buzzing around seattle, yesterday. it was so much fun. we went for gyros, played at the park and then went to splash in the fountain at seattle center. it was the best day ever.

[photo]

she had some really great advice for me as far as photography and life goes, it was so nice to just chat with her and spend some time with her. she is such a lovely woman and i enjoy her company and heart so much! she is one of the most real, down-to-earth, fun, living in the real world but not OF this world Christian example if i ever knew one. i am so blessed to know her.

at this point in my week, or the last couple weeks i suppose, i just feel really topsy-turvy. i know what i want, but i only know how to attain about 31% of what i want; frustrating. my main goals are: photo business, escape to oregon, move out, get an iPhone.

also, i suppose i'm going back to school in the fall. i don't want to, i don't want to at all. but i think i've discovered now that if i don't just finish i will never, ever want to go back and probably never will.

things are all of a sudden so uncertain, it feels like. i really just need to cry and i don't want to at all. i want to be bubbling over with happiness, smiles and joy like i used to be -- i'm aspiring and learning how, once again. i often wonder how people like esther and job did it. when i was younger i used to pray for a heart like david's and wisdom like solomon's . . . i think God has granted me much of what i prayed so diligently for (there is always more to learn, however, of course.) i am now in pursuit of patience and joy in the midst of confusion and uncertainty as esther and job had. Lord grant me peace and teach me how to trust You in the ways i so effortlessly fail.

xxx
m

2 comments:

Bitte gib mir nur ein Wort said...

I hope you get that house. It's such a simple and yet special goal to have. =]

MikisthatChick said...

You can do it Mallory, i have faith in you, and you have faith in God and yourself, which is all that matters :)

I want to start a photography business too!
What kind do you want to do?