17 December, 2008

i love my family


that is the creepiest thing i've ever seen. the eyebrows/nose would not line up at the same time for the life of me. pah! happy christmas!

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me: "mum, will you make my wedding dress? i want it to look like this..."
kimmi: "it wouldn't cost much, minus labour."
me: "mum wouldn't charge me labour..."
mum: "i didn't charge her labour the first time."

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me: "i'm not really into making food."
kimmi: "yeah, me either."
me: "do you think i'll ever be into that? making real food?"
kimmi: "yeah."
me: "why do you say that?"
kimmi: "well, when you get married."
me: "why would i make food?"
kimmi: "what, you're going to be like, 'baby, go make me some ramen, yo!'?"
me: "no. but like, i'm not really into making real meals."
kimmi: "like mac'n'cheese?"
me: "no, real food."
kimmi: "like cheesy chips?"
me: "no, real food."
kimmi: "what do you mean by 'real meals'?"
me: "like taking real ingredients like noodles, and cheese and making pasta sauce . . ."
kimmi: "why would you make your own pasta sauce?! no one makes their own pasta sauce anymore. why make it when you can buy pasta sauce? unless it's alfredo sauce, it's not worth making because you have to smash your own tomatoes. if you're going to smash your own tomatoes you might as well cut your own parsley, who cuts their own parsley? you might as well get your own garden and call yourself martha stewart. better yet, get a tattoo on your forehead that says 'martha stewart.' oh, and don't forget to put lilies in your toilet bowl. that's the next step after cutting your own parsley, lilies in your toilet bowl. and just think of how clogged that toilet would get if you tried to flush it."
me: defeated silence.

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i am convinced that i will get a free-made wedding dress (minus cost of materials) and i will most likely never be a posh cook. the end.

last words of wisdom from kimmi: "did you know that fettuccini is a type of noodle? alfredo is the name of the actual dish; fettuccini alfredo."

xx mal

2 comments:

BethOnTop said...

this made me all happyful <3

Anonymous said...

Okay, that is amazing. :)